Thursday, September 29, 2011
THE CHAIR FROM COOPER
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
BACK IN THE HOUSE BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Well, children, the plumbing went KERPLOOIE! The washing machine dumped water into the bath tub and toilet. So the plumber came out and rodded and rodden and it didn't work.
So the Plumber came out the next day (this was Tuesday) and took out the toilet again and rodded and rodded and rodded and it didn't work. So they came back YESTERDAY, with that giant backhoe in the photo, and they dug a huge f-ing trench where the Village said that the sewer line was and guess what?
IT WASN'T THERE AT ALL! IT WAS SEVERAL FEET TO ONE SIDE!!!
Oh boy! So they dug another trench. This time they found it, they rodded it and rodded it, put in new pipes, and an access point. We flushed and ran the washer, and so on and everything was fine and they left and an hour later the toilet backed up into the bathtub, paper and all.
So I have him coming again, and the electrician to figure out why the switch he fixed doesn't work anymore and Oh! Yes-- I almost forgot. While they were diggin up my yard yesterday we realised we had a GAS LEAK! So we had to call Nicor, who rushed out and replaced the meter and all the pipes for the meter and the good news is, we no longer have a gas leak. Which is in the photo at the top.
Is it not lovely?
Gee. This is so much fun.
PS. All that dirt is CLAY, It is wet. It sticks to your shoes and there is no way to get into the house without walking through it. My floors are trashed, my shoes are trashed. Where are hashish brownies when you need them?
Monday, September 26, 2011
SEWERS, WASHINGMACHINES, TOILETS
Sunday, September 25, 2011
A PROTEST DA BOYZ
say dis not a biggie deal.
Dat whut we finks cept Mr.Cooper just shakin he hed an sighin
Love to all and Good Drool
Nigel, Llewis, Conley n Cooper (sorta Cooper, not reely.)
FAILURE OF THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK
Of course not.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
WHERE DID WE PUT THE STRAIT JACKET?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
PROGRESS
See I have this system I use when I play CDs. I take out 5 and put them in the player and then I put the Jewel cases someplace safe where I know I will remember not only where they are but that they are empty. This precludes the idea that any memory beyond 10 minutes duration is going to be fixed in my mind somehow. This is, of course, ludicrous. At the time, I think "Ok I will remember this." And then I forget about it
Consequently, CDs are rarely re-united with their appropriate jewel cases. After a big pile of homeless CDs piles up, I will sometimes find one of the cahces of cases and just start putting CDs in the cases. It makes opening each case later a wonderful surprise. It may be Doc and Merle Watson playing, or it may be be the Cornell Guide to Bird Songs. Of course the Jewel Case was for the Chieftains THE IRISH HORSE.....
So yesterday I began.
putting all the Cds together with their Jewel Cases. This meant opening every case to see if there were CDs in it and if so, were they the right ones. I started about 7 in the morning. At about noon I asked John, who was out, if he would stop someplace and buy me 20 jewel cases
At about 4 in the afternoon I tossed the last of the rogue CDs all in a drawer and slammed it shut (I can barely open and close it now) and was left with about 300,000,000 CDs which may or may not be in the correct case but are by god in a case and going to frigging well stay in that case come hell or (again) high water.
Meantime there are 5 empty cases someplace that are for the 5 CDs in the machine that I was listening to as I did this. So if anyone finds a Jewel case for the Seldom Scene 15th Anniversary or for Jimmy Buffett's License to Chill, they belong to me and are on the run. Please return along with another large bottle of Barefoot Cellar's Chardonnay.
AND DOES ANYONE DO WINDOWS?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
CONLEY'S BLOG TODAY
(Scuse me here a minnit Ise tryina figure how da helck to put dis picther ob Llewis where I wants it.)
Ok here we goes. Dis be Llewis course youse
whut come in wif we spesially on liddel Conley's eers an headbone. MomPerson she not heppy. She callt da odders in but nobuddy else
Friday, September 16, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
BACK!!!WE ARE BACK!!! WE ARE HOME HOME HOME sort of
There are or have been a couple of little glitches.
When they put in the cable that's ALL they did. They did not hook anything up so that it took the cable guy-- a paragon of patience named Kevin-- nearly FOUR HOURS to figure out how to hook it all together.
When they put the furnace in, they neglected to consider that a washing machine and dryer also have to fit into that room. Therefore, I have a washing machine but the dryer is outside by the back door, covered with a tarp which the boys mark EVERY SINGLE TIME they go past, which is often. It does kind of seem to me that this is the type of thing a contractor should think about.
The hoses that attach to the washing machine also are no good but that's our responsibility.
Here's the big thing.
See, we have a LOT of Stuff. More than is standard. Maybe not quite up to legal "hoarding" levels, but high, nonetheless. Of course, what went OUT of the house all came BACK. Therefore, there were 3 truckloads of furniture and boxes of crap, mostly boxes.
Keeping in mind that we have had a day and a half to work, (like mules) and so a great deal has already disappeared upstairs, here is an idea what we are up against:
Looking from the doorway into my bedroom.The dog crates are behind the boxes to your right. This is after quite a few boxes have been opened and put away: originally you could not see past the boxes into the room.''
The stairway with the beautiful new carpet and the lovely off white bedrooms upstairs. Both room are crammed with boxes. I am saved from running up and down the stairs because I am too fat to fit.
My advice to anyone planning on moving, running away, leaving your estate to your children or perhaps some day needing to a Dr, Vet, Paramedic, Cop or friend into your home is:
THROW OUT EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT ON YOUR BODY, IN THE LAUNDRY, OR A DOG.Nothing wrong with paper plates.
Cheerio
Friday, September 9, 2011
THE LAST DAY
John is at the house house. The latter is full, from floor to ceiling (I am not joking, not one bit) with boxes of.......stuff. As George Carlin would say. It is amazing the STUFF we have that we will be throwing out.
Anyone want a beautiful Jenny Lind Green crib that is not sold any longer because babies, determined little bastards that they are, can jam their heads(!!) through the railings. I never had one do that, but presumably they can.
How about three bookcases my Father built FOR MY BROTHER-- who is 5 yrs older than even I am, and I am old, that we have been using ALL THESE YEARS?
I must say they have lasted. But it is time. They are like 70 yrs old. Ya think it's time to say goodbye?
The bed I have is the bed John had as a kid. It is on my hit list, but he doesn't know that yet. I am 65. I would like a bed OF MY OWN.
In this house right now are:
me
the computer
a little bit of wine in a bottle
some Coke in a bottle
a can of StarBucks Double Shot.
I have an hour of computer time left, aaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeWHADDAMIGONNADOWITHOUTMYCOMPUTER????????????????
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
COUNTDOWN
4 pm.
The dogs sense something is going on: they are frantic.
Here is a partial list of what we have to do in the next 4 days IF we pass inspection and IF the insurance company can arrange to get our furniture back into the real house:
1. Pick up the yard of dog stuff here
2.clean the stove again
3. wash my bedspread which is the rental company's bedspread and which is no longer beige and white but kind of mottled dark mud brown and drool and has been for several weeks.
4. pick up the yard here
5. separate the utensils I brought over from the utensils the rental company rented us from the ones we brought over from the ones they oh I said that.
6. pick up the yard
7. pack clothing. I have little. John has lots. I have two pair of shoes,undies and a handful of t-shirts and sweatshirts, 3 pair of jeans only 2 of whichI can wear and breathe in at the same time.
8. pick up the yard.
9.Watch quietly without saying a word while the two rooms of stuff John brought over are taken back to the house and put somewhere out of my sight.
10. IF they bring our real furniture back from Batavia before Monday getting the cable switched, the gas, electric and water back on in our names. I can do that today and just have them set it up for Wednesday. Either way we will not be living in THIS house on Friday.
11. Pick up the yard.
12. If they don't get our furniture back or the cable cannot be hooked up finding some way to watch the final episode of THE CLOSER next Monday. The
- The only show John and I actually watch religiously (except for Justified which isn't on now) and together.
37. Get John's suit cleaned for his HS reunion this coming weekend. No I do not go, altho I have in the past.
42. Pick up the yard at the rental.
43. Get the light bulbs and toxic chemicals out from under the picnic table at the other house and away from any area the dogs can reach. Put the Barbeq out for the trash, put the counter that is in the yard out for the trash and the freezer. Trash pick-up tomorrow. That'll have to be done today, maybe after the inspection.
57. Find a way to open the padlocks on the gates here that rusted shut in 4 months of solid rain, heat and tropical humidity.
58. Pick up the yard.
67. Do something about the weeds at the other house, no poison.
68. Find out when the furniture is coming home.
69. pick up.
70. Note to self: weather predicition is for rain for weekend.
HOME SWEET HOME? oh please please
Monday, September 5, 2011
NO MIDDLE GROUND
Not because it is too hot but because during the night I got too COLD!
It is 55 degree now and is 8 in the morning. I do not know what it was when I woke up at 1:45 but I was all snuggled up with Cooper.
Feast or famine.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
REPO!!
(photo from Google)
Today has been very quiet Bwaaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaah.
First I went over to the Real House and cleaned. I cleaned the bathroom sort of. I got the cobwebs, the tub as clean as it gets (it is peeling) and the toilet and sink bleached and disinfected.
I cleaned part of the kitchen-- the counters, the dishwasher, the double sink. I don't have good water pressure in the kitchen so I had to haul water in a bucket from the utility room to rinse it properly.
Anyway that's what I did this morning.
Then this afternoon I am sitting happily (more or less) in the rental house when a biiiiiiig flatbed went past, with tow lights on it. Uh Oh.
This is not a good neighborhood to see a flatbed with tow lights. It went down the street.
There is a program called REPO or something like that. I watched it once. They had huge mutant people driving the tow truck and being very aggressive. The owners of the car being reposessed attacking these huge mutant people with chains and pick-axes and rocks and whatever, and the mutants-- the good guys after all-- instead of picking up a cell phone and calling the police fight back with fists the size of jackhammers etc etc and everybody yells and hollers and threatens and insists the payments were made etc etc. It was a horrible program, in my opinion, and I watch a lot of trash tv, but not this.
So the truck went down the street and stopped. And in a minute I hear it:
shrieks, screams. High pitched and VERY ANGRY voices. Men, women, children, all screaming at once, totally unintelligible at least from 5 houses away.
The street, so far as I could see, seething with people. Tow lights flashing....
No quiet voice of reason anywhere just loud and angry shouting.
Then the first Cop SUV showed up. The noise ramped downward but didn't stop. I could, however, hear the rattle of chains. Voices rose; the second Cop car shows up and silence drops. The truck drives off with a lovingly cared-for, waxed, polished and snazzy red car on the flatbed. One cop follows, the other must have left shortly.
Peace.
Uh not really.
Ten minutes later the voices start up again. Apparently one person thought the other person paid the bill (isn't it always thus?) and the threats were audible. I will not repeat what little I could actually understand. It seemed to involve the death of someone by violent means.
Pretty soon the street was choked with screaming people again. Someone called it in-- no doubt sighing heavily, the police returned asap, this time with their lights on and probably really annoyed.
Two cars. Three--one from the other direction.
Silence.
More silence.
Even more silence.
It has been a very very quiet evening.
How very nice.....
Saturday, September 3, 2011
WEATHER
Cooper has had his Composure and is wearing his Thundershirt and has been escorted into Llewis's crate (his crate of choice, since he doesn't actually have one.)
It has been, basically, one long thunderous roll and the sky is very very dark. The guy across the street is trying desperately to get his lawn mowed, but it isn't going to happen.
My friend Susie called me awhile ago from Britt, Iowa at a horse show, and said they were trying to dry the ring out, so maybe this is the same storm. She called to invite me to the Waverly, Iowa Draft Horse Sale in October. This is a big deal and we have tried to go several times but something has always interfered. Presumably by then we will back in the real house and maybe it will be cool enough that I can take Cooper. Making the assumption, of course, that his health holds.
This is the kind of horse they sell at Waverly....And these....
And this.
But you knew that. So I don't know. We'll see what the next month brings, whether we are in a motel someplace or at home.
I hope the windows are closed at the other house....