BECOMING A CHAMPION

I guess the Nationals are being held now in Kentucky. I was going to go, had planned on it last spring, but now with all the house crap I cannot-- it's too expensive right now (well, it's ALWAYS too expensive but that's why God made credit cards.)
Anyway I thought it would be appropriate at this time to just run through a few of the measures that one must take to get a dog from zero to 100 (Champion.) based on my experiences as an amateur handler.

First get a puppy. A good one. Four legs, two testicles (if it's a male) and a happy tail if it's a Basset. Make sure your breeder understands you are going to be a "show home".

Then train it.
BWAAAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(The laughter applies only if you are working with Bassets.)

Here is a Champion Basset:

No wait. Sorry. That's Conley getting one of his three points that he has. He needs only 70,000 more. That's what it seems like when he goes in the ring and drops his tail. Oh yes, that's another thing: no tail, no ribbon. No ribbon, no chance at points.

This is what a Champion might look like if the dog in question would go into the ring like this, instead of being in the backyard. Because your dog looks like a million bucks in training, don't assume he will do the same thing at a dog show. Chances are, he will find a way to have his OWN rules at the show, and they won't be ones you like. The Judge may even laugh, but she is writing
"Dog is doofus: owner/handler FAIL" in her little book.

This bitch needed only 3 points when I stopped showing her to breed her. I will never do that again--either thing-- stop showing to breed a bitch or even just breed a bitch. I loved it at the time, but she never got those 3 points.
Don't think you can spay her to make your life easier-- you cannot show a spayed bitch and after a few months you (and a sharp-eyed Judge) probably can tell by the way the nether regions appear.

This dog IS in fact, a Champion. I am not sure how it happened. It must have been a mistake because I was showing him. The AKC says he has the points and he also has a minor herding title. He got that because we were at the Nationals and I did NOT take him into do the herding. He actually does not care much for sheep but it was a novel experience so for once he didn't just pee on the posts and leave.

If this Afghan Hound went through all this and is not a Champion he should be.

This dog was a Champion and had bigtime Obedience and herding titles as well. In conformation you get a little ribbon but in Obedience you get stuff like this. Not always-- I think he was High In Trial that day. Clearly, he was not my dog. His name was Beacon and I do not have all his names and titles to give you, but he was a great dog.

All these dogs were at the International last spring. This cute l'il Basset Boy beat our ass off every single day. If he is not a Champion by now I would be horribly surprised but I do believe he is finished: I think it was in the BUGLER a while back. You can see his tail is up-- it never went down. He is a gorgeous dog.

This is my Champion making sure all the "Little people" know he is one and they are not.
Llewis (and that is he) cares not.

This is what a dog whose owner wants a Champion but who doesn't give a rat's ass about BECOMING a Champion does instead of putting his tail up in the show ring.

He has saved me a lot of money this way.