FREUD HAD IT WRONG

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a little boy. Now. According to Freud this means I had "penis envy". Freud was wrong. What I had was EQUALITY ENVY. Even as a child I knew there was a big difference between being a little boy and getting to do exciting things, and being a little girl and told to cross your legs at the ankle when you sat down, pull your skirt down, don't sit like that, walk this way, act interested in what the boys are interested in, (nevermind what I was interested in) and don't eat that you'll get fat vs. eat, keep your strength up.

 

This is me in case you couldn't figure it out. Note that at the tender age of 4 I am wearing a gun. It was only a cap gun but I had been wearing it steadly for a year at that point, rarely took it off. The skirt was my Mother's idea, an attempt to rein in her obstinate daughter. It worked, for awhile.

 

But it wasn't a penis I wanted. It was the ability to do the same things as my brother. The ability to ride my bike as far as he rode his.

To have a key to my room. (That backfired, but I will go into it another time. BWaaaahahahahahahah).

(Ok: he broke the key off in the lock and spent a whole day sitting in the hall with a hacksaw and my Father, sawing through the lock.)

The advantage to being a girl was: I was protected and tears were a potent weapon.

End of advantages, as I saw it.

 

He has looked out for me, I have to admit. Note the tie. I am puzzled by that since Mother loathed dogs. Who got a dog when he wanted one? Not me. When I wanted one, no dice.

So I got a horse. HAhahahahahahha. Revenge is sweet.

 

I think he ran into a tree but I cannot remember. The Indian artifacts behind him were his. He got to go to Tama,Iowa and watch the Indians (Native Americans, whatever) dance and he made friends with some of them and had an awesome collection. Breech clothes, tobacco pouches and bowls...

I had china horses.

 

He's a good guy.He is not responsible for his sex anymore than I am responsible for mine. I am now resigned to being female and glad of it in many ways, but every now and then I think...what if...

 

And it's not a penis I want, it's equal pay.