WHAT THE SHOW WAS LIKE BY DOC

oVER the weekend Mama took me to what they call a dog show.

It was downtown in the big city of Chicago at a huge place like having the outdoors with a roof it was so big and there were lots of dogs some really strange with more hair than I ever seen before and some with real curly hair and some with NO HAIR brrrr.

First Mama said we had to ride the "shuttle bus".
I never seen anything quite like it ever in my whole life it was huge big stinky stinky oily loud yellow and had giant steps which I have never done in my whole life so I decided to go back and wait for her in the Van but she said no and CARRIED me into the black hole of hell that was the bus and I sat under the seat to make sure I was safe.

Then we got to this huge building what I have already told you about.
Lucky me my crate was there and I hid in the back of it.

Mama said I looked like a deer in the headlights but I don't know what that means.

Then, this nicest woman with good treats comes along and takes me out and trots me around and Mama right there it seems ok, and I was a little better and then they put me on the table which I hate and fluffed and fussed and trimmed and sprayed and fluffed and brushed and brushed and brushed and then the nice woman with the good treats (Susan Spinhirne) took me to one of those square rings and we went around and some strange woman touched my nebberminds and hands Susan a blue ribbon and then I go around again with a older dog in there and the woman gives Susan a green ribbon and a purple ribbon and everybody (mama) jumping an hugging and say I got a point. I look for it but I don't see it.

Next day we do the same thing except THIS time I get right on that bus and take a seat and look out the window because now I gotta point.
And when we go in I don't hide, nossir, I bark a big-boy bark at some funny looking dog with sagging skin and a mushy face who bark back that he going to rip my head off, so I got kind of quiet.

And we fluff and trim, and all that again and we go in the same ring but this time there a man there, and he felt my nebberminds and had us trot around and gives Susan a blue ribbon. Then we trot around with the other dog and Susan gets a purple ribbon and when we come out jumping and smiling now I have TWO POINTS and I look and I don't see them anywheres.

So that's the story of my weekend and I hope we're done with this silliness now except Conley who has points also says oh no you need
THIRTEEN MORE!!!!!
Oboy. What a thought.