NIGEL: BONSAI'S QUIETLY MAKING NOISE, TD


We wait to see what Dr, C can do for you. We miss you at home. We love you. We wish you every good wish possible. Nigel, we love you.

BECOMING A CHAMPION

I guess the Nationals are being held now in Kentucky. I was going to go, had planned on it last spring, but now with all the house crap I cannot-- it's too expensive right now (well, it's ALWAYS too expensive but that's why God made credit cards.)
Anyway I thought it would be appropriate at this time to just run through a few of the measures that one must take to get a dog from zero to 100 (Champion.) based on my experiences as an amateur handler.

First get a puppy. A good one. Four legs, two testicles (if it's a male) and a happy tail if it's a Basset. Make sure your breeder understands you are going to be a "show home".

Then train it.
BWAAAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(The laughter applies only if you are working with Bassets.)

Here is a Champion Basset:

No wait. Sorry. That's Conley getting one of his three points that he has. He needs only 70,000 more. That's what it seems like when he goes in the ring and drops his tail. Oh yes, that's another thing: no tail, no ribbon. No ribbon, no chance at points.

This is what a Champion might look like if the dog in question would go into the ring like this, instead of being in the backyard. Because your dog looks like a million bucks in training, don't assume he will do the same thing at a dog show. Chances are, he will find a way to have his OWN rules at the show, and they won't be ones you like. The Judge may even laugh, but she is writing
"Dog is doofus: owner/handler FAIL" in her little book.

This bitch needed only 3 points when I stopped showing her to breed her. I will never do that again--either thing-- stop showing to breed a bitch or even just breed a bitch. I loved it at the time, but she never got those 3 points.
Don't think you can spay her to make your life easier-- you cannot show a spayed bitch and after a few months you (and a sharp-eyed Judge) probably can tell by the way the nether regions appear.

This dog IS in fact, a Champion. I am not sure how it happened. It must have been a mistake because I was showing him. The AKC says he has the points and he also has a minor herding title. He got that because we were at the Nationals and I did NOT take him into do the herding. He actually does not care much for sheep but it was a novel experience so for once he didn't just pee on the posts and leave.

If this Afghan Hound went through all this and is not a Champion he should be.

This dog was a Champion and had bigtime Obedience and herding titles as well. In conformation you get a little ribbon but in Obedience you get stuff like this. Not always-- I think he was High In Trial that day. Clearly, he was not my dog. His name was Beacon and I do not have all his names and titles to give you, but he was a great dog.

All these dogs were at the International last spring. This cute l'il Basset Boy beat our ass off every single day. If he is not a Champion by now I would be horribly surprised but I do believe he is finished: I think it was in the BUGLER a while back. You can see his tail is up-- it never went down. He is a gorgeous dog.

This is my Champion making sure all the "Little people" know he is one and they are not.
Llewis (and that is he) cares not.

This is what a dog whose owner wants a Champion but who doesn't give a rat's ass about BECOMING a Champion does instead of putting his tail up in the show ring.

He has saved me a lot of money this way.

EXPERIMENTAL BLOG

Ok we will see how this works.
When we were rained out of the house, the couch arms and a couple of spots on the back wore big splocks of dried Drool. The Bassets are the big villains, but I have to admit, Cooper can drool up a storm given the opportunity. We used to laugh in Obedience class because on the down-stay we could always tell where Cooper had been: Mr. Nervous would have a puddle between his front legs, where he had drooled out his anxiety.

So in an effort to keep the couch clean, DadPerson kind of went overboard in finding things to cover arms and backs of the couch and chairs clean of drool.
The other day he wanted to know where all the sheets and towels were. Had they been lost? (We did not take any with us when we were forced to flee.
There simply wasn't time.)

Looking at the couch....two throws, three towels, two sheets and a pillowcase....and where are the dogs? On my bed.

My other task now is sorting the thousands of photos I have in boxes and drawers and so on. In the past three days I have purchased 8 albums. Five hold one hundred photos, two hold 240 and one holds 300. I am going to need more.

Now I want to see how the photo upload works on this.

Ok looks as if it's gonna work better this way.

TROUBLE IN BLOGGER CITY

I am suddenly having a lot of difficulty getting my blogs to look the way I want when I publish them. Fair warning that I may be looking for another blogsite. This is getting ridiculous.

snort snort grumble bitch

THE CHAIR FROM COOPER

MomPerson bought a new office chair for her room.

Guess who she made sit in it?

Dis chair it goes tippyback.

It also go roundy

You can see from my xpresshun just how much fun I think this is.

I shooda threw up all ober her new rug but I not that mean.

Chair sposed to be black like me but it not.

Somebody no how to stop her from doin stuff like dis with me?

Love and Magic Belgian Power to all in need,

Ch.Midnight Acres High Noon, HCT (Cooper)

BACK IN THE HOUSE BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

This is our newly refurbished house with the new wood floors and the newly painted walls and so on. Well what, you say, is all that shit in front? Why is there a giant Bobcat parked on the---well there is no lawn-- in the front yard?

Well, children, the plumbing went KERPLOOIE! The washing machine dumped water into the bath tub and toilet. So the plumber came out and rodded and rodden and it didn't work.

So the Plumber came out the next day (this was Tuesday) and took out the toilet again and rodded and rodded and rodded and it didn't work. So they came back YESTERDAY, with that giant backhoe in the photo, and they dug a huge f-ing trench where the Village said that the sewer line was and guess what?

IT WASN'T THERE AT ALL! IT WAS SEVERAL FEET TO ONE SIDE!!!

Oh boy! So they dug another trench. This time they found it, they rodded it and rodded it, put in new pipes, and an access point. We flushed and ran the washer, and so on and everything was fine and they left and an hour later the toilet backed up into the bathtub, paper and all.

So I have him coming again, and the electrician to figure out why the switch he fixed doesn't work anymore and Oh! Yes-- I almost forgot. While they were diggin up my yard yesterday we realised we had a GAS LEAK! So we had to call Nicor, who rushed out and replaced the meter and all the pipes for the meter and the good news is, we no longer have a gas leak. Which is in the photo at the top.

Is it not lovely?

Gee. This is so much fun.

PS. All that dirt is CLAY, It is wet. It sticks to your shoes and there is no way to get into the house without walking through it. My floors are trashed, my shoes are trashed. Where are hashish brownies when you need them?

SEWERS, WASHINGMACHINES, TOILETS

I took the dogs to the kennel this morning, because not only the plumbers but the electricians were coming to work on THINGS. The plumbers are trying so hard not to have to dig up the front yard. They got the washing machine working but now the toilet will still not flush. Even the head plumber looks discouraged

We need to dig up the yard, rod out the main line, and put an access into the sewer line so we do not need to do this again.

Thousands of dollar

John is hiding outside.

I wish now I had kept Conley and Cooper at home. I could use the company, the companionship and the snuggl

The plumbers are outside now, staring balefully at the yar

I need my dogs.