WHY I TOOK THE BANANAS

by Doc

This is why I took the Bananas off the counter.
And the dishcloth out of the sink.
And ate the-------oh. I'm not supposed to talk about that.
And chewed the plastic flowerpot up.
And the bucket.
And took the lug wrench with the rubber handles.
And the bread.
And the gloves.
And those things used to tie stuff onto the top of the Van.
And the tarp with the bricks on it.


See, the weather has been nasty. Wet. Very wet. Windy. Very windy. Windy I love because it blows stuff into the yard for me to get, like little balls that Mama took away, and the baggies that Mama took away, and the bread, that Mama took away she said the squirrels dropped it.
Wet is ok too I don't mind but the Bassets hate it when I chase them through the puddles and Mama doesn't like it when I come in the house and shake.

So I've been inside. Shoes. I forgot about the shoes. And the slippers.

Class got canceled.
Nothing to do.

So. I tried. I did. First, I chewed my chewy.

And I did that for a long time. Really. At least a minute. I tried.
I think that was when the bananas fell off the counter into my mouth.
Mama took them.
I was trying to figure out how to peel them when she caug--found me.
I let her have them I don't like bananas much anyway.

She said why don't you do something constructive?

So I did.

This is me guarding the house. I am standing on the sofa. I do a good job of this. I know I do because Mama says I do.

                         OOOOOOOOOOOOSQUIRREL!!!!

oh and I forgot about the underpants....

Doc


transcribed by Mama

QUIET

It is late evening. The dogs have been in and out and in and out and in and out all day, and now they are starting to settle.
This is a nice part of the day.
Nigel is on my bed. I still have to catheterize him for the night, but he is so content that I am stalling.

He has made a nice little nest for himself. He will growl when I disturb him to get him prepared for bed.

Llewis has his own bed. He moves it all over the house by sticking his head under it and flipping it into the air over and over. Tonight it is out here in my room. Sometimes it is in the living room. He will have to move eventually, to get out of the way of Nigel, going from my bed to his own bed for the night.

Llewis in his bed. Conley is in the other room. I did not get a photo of him.
All the Bassets are asleep.
One dog is awake.
Does anyone want to guess?

Oh gosh, you got it right!!! The black dog is still awake and chewing on a chewy. Earlier he ate some stuff off the dining room table. I hope they were useless coupons and not mail that we really needed. It was hard to tell.... All the throws were off the couch and one chair, and the rug (one of them) had a new corner chewed off. I love this dog, but I don't know why.

WATERWORLD

It snowed. Then it melted. But the ground was frozen. So the water had no place to go since the neighbor made us dig up the drainage tile they had agreed we could put in.
So our backyard looked like the Everglades without the warmth, the alligators, the egrets, and the flip-flops.

Note the lack of beautiful scenery: no airboats, no flamingoes. Just slop.

 

See this is what happens when you have to pull the drain tiles. Don't ask.

 

Then on the other hand there is the large dog/little bed syndrome.

I am not sure what causes this.

Is it a desire to be a little dog?

Is it the inability to understand the difference between a mediun sized dog, a little dog and a bed?

 

 

When you have a toy with you the bed doesn't seem smallish or unfriendly.

But really it is a big dog in a little bed.....................................

BEYOND THE WEATHER CHART

 

 

 

Very cold.

Thermometer says 11.

Windchill says -0-

This is a midwestern winter. This is what we are used to expecting. This is what has been missing all year.

This is what makes me set a timer when the dogs go out.

Because 5 minutes is long enoough for anyone unless

they are in a car. With the heat on. And a warm warm coat, gloves, mittens, scarf, hat. Maybe more than one hat.

 

So I let the dogs out.

 

                     Doc finds a stick to play with right away.

Mooooooooooom....My nodse is cold.

 

Nobody stayed out very long.

Even the Bassets had the sense to come inside.

I came because my fingers were freezing to the camera.

 

LOVE STORY: THE SEDUCTION

A SHORT SHORT STORY

starring Llewis and his DadPerson



APPROACHING THE MARK

 Hello, you have a nice chair here. Has anyone told you that before? It is really lovely and you look so handsome sitting in it. Who, him?   Pay no attention to that Hairy Dog hanging around. No No, he's not my pimp.How could you think such a thing about me?



THE MAIN MOVE

Just let me step a little closer so I can smell you better.Ahhh, what an intoxicating scent, do you mind? Shaving cream, coffee and--oh, ice cream! I do love ice cream. I could go for someone who loves ice cream....

THE FINI

               Nebbermind. Just don't move for a long time,ok?

                                        TaaDaa
                                        The End

HEADS OR TAILS

We had a little snow and it went away. Then we had a couple of really chilly days when the dogs didn't want to stay out.
Now it's mild again (relatively speaking, of course: it IS winter.) and the boys want to be out in the yard, building forts, shooting bb guns and pushing and shoving.

Doc has grown a little more, but he still looks like a coyote.
When three are out, there is non-stop barking, but when two are out, it is fairly quiet.
Therefore, I let Doc out to play with Nigel, who, being down in the rear stays in one spot (he doesn't but he did today.) and Doc will stay close and play with him.

                       Nigel, so dignified. Outside in the sun.

                Doc, outside and looking for...well...trouble.

      Oh Hey Nigel. You wanna wrassle? Hunh? Ya Wanna hunh?

  Mmmmmmmm. I dunno. I kinda like just sitting here, y'know?

                       Yeah uh hunh yeah I guess you sure?

 

You know what I just noticed? Your head! It's...it's...

 

                                      upside down!!!

 

You poor thing. No wonder you're so weird. Here, let me ...

 

              ....  Fix that for you. There! Now let's go in,okay?

Really, you'd think he'd figure it out, wouldn't you?

WAITING FOR WINTER

Well here we are in January and the temp is in the 40s. It isn't supposed to stay that way, but for us the snowfall has been less than dazzling. Even in my faltering memory rests the replays of shoveling paths for the Bassets, and watching the Belgians lay a trail around the backyard.

Not this year.

It is supposed to change tonight. The temp is supposed to bottom out and we are scheduled for sleet and snow. Ice is probably not something Doc has encountered before. Or substantial snow. Meanwhile, life grinds onward.

This is my butt. Isn't it lovely? Someday I will have britches and a big, plumey tail.

This is a squirrel. It is the ENEMY. I run after squirrels even when they are running along the power lines and leaping into the trees.
I think a squirrel would make a good snack.

 

This is my Frisbee. I don't know what that is but I kill it at least once a day.

                           Sometimes I even bring it back.

         This is my empty Coca-Cola bottle. I am a recycling whiz.

               This is my thoughtful look. It fools them every time.

 

                                            and this is

                                             Li'l ole

             beyootifull ME waiting for winter, whatever that is.