HOW TO MAKE A BASSET HOUND CRAZY

 

Into some perfect lives, now and then, a little rain must fall. Take Conley and Llewis for example. What wonderful little lives they had: food aplenty, belly-rubs, sunbeams on the floor, a yard to patrol, the occasional skunk or possum or baby squirrel.
And then: Oh no! A Bomb. A disturbance in the Force.
A PUPPY!
One that grew. And grew. And grew. But is still, after all, a puppy.
And one who loves to play, and sometimes has trouble finding a playmate, and so he has learned

HOW TO MAKE A BASSET HOUND CRAZY:

Here is the Villain. He wants to play but nobody wants to play with him.

Here he comes! OMG! Not again. (That's Llewis.)

GOTCHA first, you heathen Belgian!

 

 

You got away! How did you do that?

Here I come again and I have a new idea.......Mother nature gave you a------------

 

                                              HANDLE!!!

                        you know what??? that's ENOUGH!!!

oOOO STICK! Maybe I can make Mom think I might poke my eye out and she'll play CATCH ME..................................................

 

 

 

CARRYING A CAMERA

Every year I go to the International Dog Show armed with a dog and my camera. If I don't have a dog I can at least take the camera, and I take many many photos -- literally hundreds -- of which maybe 10 or 15 are really nice.
This year
I FORGOT MY CAMERA!!!

I was so unstable already having been out of the loopy world of dog shows for awhile, that I just forgot it. Got all my dog stuff, forgot the camera.

Anyway I try never to be without my camera if I am going anywhere that seems vaguely interesting.

Lately I have not taken quite so many photos because after all these years they're becoming a bit redundant.

Here are some reasons to carry a camera, or to master the camera in your phone. (mine sucks.) (Besides, you run the battery down.)

Lesson 1.

Typical Lion. Typical lion photo. This was taken at Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago a few years ago when I went with two friends. While we were there we met with another friend who was a zookeeper. She was, in fact, with the big cats.

She gave a back-of-the-house tour of the big cats.

What she said was, "They'd kill me in a heartbeat."

 

About two days later, somehow she ended up in the outdoor cage with the lions, and indeed, they tried to kill her.

She recovered but no longer works with the big cats. The cats were declared innocent of wrongdoing.

 

Lesson 2.

Just when you think they will never, ever get along, you walk into a room and see this. Kailey, my daughter's amazing Keeshond, being momentarily comforting to baby Zelda, who craved close contact.  Kailey, being a spayed bitch with her own agenda, had no illusions about puppies, and tolerating them was about as far as it went.

 

Lesson 3.

The big bad Belgian, on the other hand, became her bodyguard when she was little and her patient companion when she was an adult. MOST of the time. Now and then she pushed him too far and he would bounce her upside down but then was unable to let go, knowing she would never quit. I cannot count the number of times I had to rescue him.

Lesson 4.

This is really why you carry a camera. To take advantage of a momentary situation.

This is Conley, beneath a huge tapesty of Mitchell that was hanging on a wall in the rental house when ours flooded.

 

 

Lesson 4.5

Conley has always been good for strange, quickie shots.

 

Lesson 5

Cats.

Cats are always good for photos. Always. No matter what a cat is doing, whether it is sleeping or trying to kill something, it is a good photo op, I promise.

This would be a better photo if I cropped the curtain out.

 

 

Lesson 6.

Travel

I went out west. Driving along we encountered these cattle along the road in an open range area.

 

And then more, and more. And at this point, stopped in the road, my friend turned to me and said "All we need now are a couple of cowboys on horseback."

 

And BINGO! There they were. This was Dad. His son and daughter were riding also, and Granddad had the trailer with fresh horses and another stock dog. (This one is behind the horse.) They were moving cattle from summer to winter pasture. Five hundred cows going 40 miles.

This was the dog on foot.There was another in the trailer dying to get out and get going.

These are some reasons I always almost always most of the time have my camera with me. I love my camera. Oh, one more:

This is the dog who taught me that I would never be without a Belgian Sheepdog again. This is Quiller.

WHAT THE SHOW WAS LIKE BY DOC

oVER the weekend Mama took me to what they call a dog show.

It was downtown in the big city of Chicago at a huge place like having the outdoors with a roof it was so big and there were lots of dogs some really strange with more hair than I ever seen before and some with real curly hair and some with NO HAIR brrrr.

First Mama said we had to ride the "shuttle bus".
I never seen anything quite like it ever in my whole life it was huge big stinky stinky oily loud yellow and had giant steps which I have never done in my whole life so I decided to go back and wait for her in the Van but she said no and CARRIED me into the black hole of hell that was the bus and I sat under the seat to make sure I was safe.

Then we got to this huge building what I have already told you about.
Lucky me my crate was there and I hid in the back of it.

Mama said I looked like a deer in the headlights but I don't know what that means.

Then, this nicest woman with good treats comes along and takes me out and trots me around and Mama right there it seems ok, and I was a little better and then they put me on the table which I hate and fluffed and fussed and trimmed and sprayed and fluffed and brushed and brushed and brushed and then the nice woman with the good treats (Susan Spinhirne) took me to one of those square rings and we went around and some strange woman touched my nebberminds and hands Susan a blue ribbon and then I go around again with a older dog in there and the woman gives Susan a green ribbon and a purple ribbon and everybody (mama) jumping an hugging and say I got a point. I look for it but I don't see it.

Next day we do the same thing except THIS time I get right on that bus and take a seat and look out the window because now I gotta point.
And when we go in I don't hide, nossir, I bark a big-boy bark at some funny looking dog with sagging skin and a mushy face who bark back that he going to rip my head off, so I got kind of quiet.

And we fluff and trim, and all that again and we go in the same ring but this time there a man there, and he felt my nebberminds and had us trot around and gives Susan a blue ribbon. Then we trot around with the other dog and Susan gets a purple ribbon and when we come out jumping and smiling now I have TWO POINTS and I look and I don't see them anywheres.

So that's the story of my weekend and I hope we're done with this silliness now except Conley who has points also says oh no you need
THIRTEEN MORE!!!!!
Oboy. What a thought.

WHY I TOOK THE BANANAS

by Doc

This is why I took the Bananas off the counter.
And the dishcloth out of the sink.
And ate the-------oh. I'm not supposed to talk about that.
And chewed the plastic flowerpot up.
And the bucket.
And took the lug wrench with the rubber handles.
And the bread.
And the gloves.
And those things used to tie stuff onto the top of the Van.
And the tarp with the bricks on it.


See, the weather has been nasty. Wet. Very wet. Windy. Very windy. Windy I love because it blows stuff into the yard for me to get, like little balls that Mama took away, and the baggies that Mama took away, and the bread, that Mama took away she said the squirrels dropped it.
Wet is ok too I don't mind but the Bassets hate it when I chase them through the puddles and Mama doesn't like it when I come in the house and shake.

So I've been inside. Shoes. I forgot about the shoes. And the slippers.

Class got canceled.
Nothing to do.

So. I tried. I did. First, I chewed my chewy.

And I did that for a long time. Really. At least a minute. I tried.
I think that was when the bananas fell off the counter into my mouth.
Mama took them.
I was trying to figure out how to peel them when she caug--found me.
I let her have them I don't like bananas much anyway.

She said why don't you do something constructive?

So I did.

This is me guarding the house. I am standing on the sofa. I do a good job of this. I know I do because Mama says I do.

                         OOOOOOOOOOOOSQUIRREL!!!!

oh and I forgot about the underpants....

Doc


transcribed by Mama

QUIET

It is late evening. The dogs have been in and out and in and out and in and out all day, and now they are starting to settle.
This is a nice part of the day.
Nigel is on my bed. I still have to catheterize him for the night, but he is so content that I am stalling.

He has made a nice little nest for himself. He will growl when I disturb him to get him prepared for bed.

Llewis has his own bed. He moves it all over the house by sticking his head under it and flipping it into the air over and over. Tonight it is out here in my room. Sometimes it is in the living room. He will have to move eventually, to get out of the way of Nigel, going from my bed to his own bed for the night.

Llewis in his bed. Conley is in the other room. I did not get a photo of him.
All the Bassets are asleep.
One dog is awake.
Does anyone want to guess?

Oh gosh, you got it right!!! The black dog is still awake and chewing on a chewy. Earlier he ate some stuff off the dining room table. I hope they were useless coupons and not mail that we really needed. It was hard to tell.... All the throws were off the couch and one chair, and the rug (one of them) had a new corner chewed off. I love this dog, but I don't know why.

WATERWORLD

It snowed. Then it melted. But the ground was frozen. So the water had no place to go since the neighbor made us dig up the drainage tile they had agreed we could put in.
So our backyard looked like the Everglades without the warmth, the alligators, the egrets, and the flip-flops.

Note the lack of beautiful scenery: no airboats, no flamingoes. Just slop.

 

See this is what happens when you have to pull the drain tiles. Don't ask.

 

Then on the other hand there is the large dog/little bed syndrome.

I am not sure what causes this.

Is it a desire to be a little dog?

Is it the inability to understand the difference between a mediun sized dog, a little dog and a bed?

 

 

When you have a toy with you the bed doesn't seem smallish or unfriendly.

But really it is a big dog in a little bed.....................................

BEYOND THE WEATHER CHART

 

 

 

Very cold.

Thermometer says 11.

Windchill says -0-

This is a midwestern winter. This is what we are used to expecting. This is what has been missing all year.

This is what makes me set a timer when the dogs go out.

Because 5 minutes is long enoough for anyone unless

they are in a car. With the heat on. And a warm warm coat, gloves, mittens, scarf, hat. Maybe more than one hat.

 

So I let the dogs out.

 

                     Doc finds a stick to play with right away.

Mooooooooooom....My nodse is cold.

 

Nobody stayed out very long.

Even the Bassets had the sense to come inside.

I came because my fingers were freezing to the camera.