I try, too.
One day I know what I should do. I should have them do chemo. I cannot, obviously, until he has quit vomiting and having diarrhea and is eating a bit better. But we are working on all that. He is eating very little right now. Yesterday he ate some actual dog food-- kibble. Today he ate less kibble but wanted green beans which I have never known him to like. Chicken and Turkey make him sick.
He watches me.
I watch him.
We went out back tonight and watched it snow.
I thought, this is probably his last winter. His favorite season. Silly dog.
My heart is torn apart. Some days, most days, I am just fine. Other times, like tonight, I can barely stand it. Every one of these dogs will someday break my heart. Maybe not quite like this, but it will happen.
Why do I have these dogs? I know what will happen. The day I bring them home, all ears and feet, the end begins. We all know this. We do it over and over again. We don't think in those terms. Not until the dog is older and in trouble physically. And then we think: why did I do this...again?
Cooper stands alone among the pygmy Bassets, but the Bassets have made his life infinitely more interesting. Cooper has less of a sense of humor than do the Bassets, but that is just his nature.
that mr cooper is here & trying is a statement in itself. that he has not given up says it all...neither should you...dogs adjust...it takes time...there is a sense of fight as well as a sense of mourning...let it be...you both must process what was, what is & what will be.
ReplyDeleteuntil then geez..don't make cnly vomit anymore & just let the fool boy dance...i am glad every day for buster & his antics...for in my deepest, darkest moments (& trust me they are very deep) my dogs have led me to a brighter place)
as always..you need you call.
Poor Cooper. Poor Bev. How well we know the sinking feeling of looking at your dog and seeing the age and infirmity that has come without us being aware. All of a sudden, one day it's there and you know the time you have is suddenly shorter. Our only comfort is in knowing that they live each day moment by moment. They don't dwell on the bad but enjoy the good and deal with the bad as best they can. Cooper is well loved and we're all praying and keeping fingers and paws crossed that he will rebound. Give him an ear scritch and belly rub for us. Randee and the White House Gang
ReplyDeleteMy heart and thoughts are with you Bev. I know all too well how you feel. I have three that I look at every SINGLE day and think how badly they will break my heart one day in the future...but then one of them rolls over and wants a belly rub...and the thought goes away for the time being. Please try to enjoy your days with Cooper.
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