Thursday, March 29, 2012

THIS IS COOPER

This is Cooper.
Ch. Midnight Acres High Noon, HCT.
Born Nov 3rd, 2000 I think. Or 2001. He is 11. And now, he is failing.
He is my heart dog, my soul dog, my constant and enthusiastic companion.
He is an AKC Champion of record.
He was born in the country but is a city dog at heart. He finds horses, cows and sheep to be things to avoid.
He rides in cars, he does elevators. He has stayed in many motels in many places. He travels well. He guards his flock. He watches the house, he alerts to things that are a block away. He waits every day for the mailman, the UPS man, the Fed Ex man and anyone who looks suspicious--- which means anyone outside the immediate family.

Cooper is ill. A year and a half ago he lost a front leg to Osteosarcoma. Now he has some kind of lesion in his  belly, at the pyloric valve. He has trouble eating. He has lost a lot of weight. He is bleeding somewhere inside. Nevertheless he barks at strangers, guards the house, wags his tail, grins his silly Belgian grin.
I cannot bear the thought of losing him, but I will.

I am trying to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the nights without him, for the days that I do not feed him, for the afternoons that he does not lay in the sun on the deck.

I am trying to prepare for his empty collar and his put-away dishes, For the toys he doesn't need anymore, and the silence when the mailman comes. I am trying to brace for looking in the back of the Van and seeing --- no Cooper. Because this is coming.

I am not ready. I hope he isn't, either.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Bev, my heart breaks for you. I have been through this and it's not easy. The only thing that lifted me out of my funk was another dog. Not nearly the dog that my heart dog was, but a new dog to help my heart heal. I can still think about Bourbon and get upset. But I think about him that way a lot less. Time heals all wounds. There will always be a place in your heart where Cooper resides.

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